It’s a family Christmas card. No! It’s a Singing family Christmas card!
That’s Sirius on the left — up front in the corner. He’s the one who looks like a real howler. He’s howlin’ out Hark, Ye Herald Angels Sing!
Also up front, there in the middle, is Snug. He’s named after the character in Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream, Snug the Joiner. Then comes Lula. With her cerebellar hypoplasic stance. Beltin’ out the fa-la-la-la-las.
Oh, and that’s Melissa and me in the background. With our stripey Christmas socks. I’m the one with the 4 string guitar and the basso profundo, she’s the one with the uke and the trilled high notes. As we sit there, donned in our gay apparel, for Chrissake.
The Christmas Angel atop the tree is even piping in. It’s a cacophony of caroling!
Every year I make a family Christmas card. See for yourself. It’s actually pretty easy. Just do a couple drawings to get the composition and them just right, then paint the image on a linoleum block, then cut out all the parts of the linoleum that aren’t painted, then ink the block, and then run to the store and buy fresh ink because this ink is a year old and gooey, then re-ink, then spot all the errors, then fix the errors, re-ink and print, then print 75 cards, then drink a lot of laced egg nog. After that, it’s simple! Just write the Christmas letter, then write the catchy catch-phrase inside the card in your best penmanship, and don’t forget to write a nice personalized note in each card. Because, God knows, this card needs to be personalized.
Oh! And then fish around for Christmas-themed stamps making sure you’re sending the religious ones to your religious friends and family and the secular ones to the non believers on your Christmas list, then just go to the post office and buy way too many of each, then address the cards, then run out of ink in your red and green pens, then buy more pens, then finish the addressing, then put ’em all in the mail.
And that’s how you make a singing family Christmas card!